Last days of island life...

I'm a napper. Have always enjoyed a good nap. Since I often work a split shift, it's the perfect set up for a good afternoon snooze.

I always nap in a different direction than how I normally sleep. Either my feet are where my head should be, or I lay horizontally across the bed. I do not know exactly why I do this, perhaps it's a way to tell my body that this is not a long endeavor, just a temporary rest. :-)

Today I had a stomachache, and felt like someone very large was sitting on top of me as I napped. My stomachache has finally gone away ( i contribute the recovery to two servings of vanilla ice cream at dinner :-) but I am curious as to why I was so tired today? I've recently gotten over a cold, and certainly had some stressful days as of late, but now that I'm leaving, and most of the other staff have already left, life has shifted to be very peaceful.

I thought it would be lonely and boring, but it's not.

I have begun to clean and pack. Only 3 more days of work left (!). The days have been hot, and I have been hiking like crazy to get out of the direct sunlight, and enjoy all the hidden trails the tourists do not know about ;-)


This is my island. I have hiked all the trails now, and ran all of the paved pathways. I've lingered in the cemetery and explored places where climbing is prohibited. I do not wish to have anymore claim to this place than that, but it will always have a special place in my heart. A place of healing.


Of course, there is always work drama...and this year has been no exception. I know I will never come back to work at the Iroquois, and I am very much OK with that. I was looking back on my summer here, and much has changed around and within me. I can honestly say I had a blast!

Where the trail leads...

So many goodbyes have been said already...and more to come...and some I will unfortunately never get to say.

Only one, maybe two, people got to me here. That is, got to know me. I have enjoyed the other friends and acquaintances I've made here, but I wonder about the people I've encountered...
Where will they be in a year? Or more?

I will be in Louisville, Ky. Doing what? I do not know. I will find some sort of job to make ends meet, and providing benefits/insurance. I will fall in love...with a kitten :-) And finally have a pet and a place to call home. I will throw random garden parties, and bake muffins on Sundays.

Live the good life :-)

Well, other than goodbyes...life has been pretty up and down...and down...and up. I am not sure what to make of it really. I think things get confusing when so many changes occur, and only afterwards can one make sense of it. The hotel is super slow tonight...a calm before the last shabang of Labor Day Weekend.

I have been running regularly, except this week I had a bad cold. I stayed in bed as much as possible to rest up. My knees were bothering me on my run today, and that worries me. The race is soon! I am in shape for it, but an illness or injury would be a sad setback after all the miles and hours I've put in.

But I was thinking on my run a few weeks ago, that "this is when races are won." In the middle of a long hot humid day's run...when you know you have it in you to finish, but you have to push through the parts of yourself that doubt. I have run the 8 mile race, and then some already. To run on race day is more of an afterthought.

Maybe I will just run it for the free t-shirt :-)

And certainly for the satisfaction that I completed my goals...of running around the island...of other things I have personally be trying to overcome during my time here. It's been challenging, but I see the finish line.

And the scenery along the way is not bad either :-)

Not *quite* ready!

So, I'm leaving the island soon.

Like in 2.5 weeks, which is earlier than my contract through October. I am just ready to settle down a bit in life. Considering I've lived in so many different places, this is an odd thing to crave. But I do crave it.

Why Louisville, KY?

I have no idea.
Besides, that all my friends are there, and my church family. My sister is in Tennessee (for now) and my half sister is in Florida. My half-brother in Los Angeles. My other half-brother, I have no idea...

Where I have lived:
Tennessee--growing up years
Los Angeles--a year in college
Mackinac Island--off and on for 5 years
Thailand--one year
Everglades, Florida--half a year
Israel/Palestine--nearly 2 years.

Louisville, KY--long enough to find a home :-)

And so I finally have. I have the cutest little apartment in the artsy part of town (very "me"). All my fav. shops and friends nearby. I can work just about anywhere, as a job is not that important to me. There are many organizations I can't wait to volunteer for: Kentucky Refugee Ministries, Urban Spirit, Earth and Spirit Center...

So it figures when I get this all figured out...I meet new people and want to spend all my time with them! The island is always full of surprises...

And it's freaking chilly today. High of 68? burr.

"A'hd"

"A'hd" is the Arabic word for "oath" or "promise."

I made a personal A'hd when I left Palestine, that I have yet to share with anyone. So why not just share it with everyone...or just to type it out for myself, really.

I remember the day of my next-to-last Communion. I was at the Sea of Galilee with a group that I'd been helping see the sites in Israel/Palestine. It was our last gathering. I played in the warm waves of the lake. Took my water bottle to collect some stones and shells from the shore. I put the little wooden dove I was wearing on a string around my neck in the bottle too. It floated to the top at first.

The water was so clear. I almost wanted to drink it.

I texted a couple of people in America, hoping it wasn't too early because of the time difference. I was seven hours ahead. And then I stared at the lake, knowing it would be the last time I would look at it. I thought of the promise, the A'hd I was about to make, as it had weighed on my conscience for several weeks already.

I would go a year without taking Communion.

That did not make much sense to me at first. But as I prayed about it, I came to realize what Communion means to me, to others, to the Church as a whole, to God. So why be denied such a beautiful thing? I can't say all the reasons why, but I do know that my heart has been tested, strengthened, and humbled through this experience.

I took my last Communion on Easter Sunday at a campground with the church family I love.

And I won't have it again until Easter Sunday, 2009.

It's not that easy. I am uncomfortable going to church, sitting while everyone else is lined up, making their way down the isle. I sometimes go outside to be alone, to pray. But mostly I am overwhelmed with the same thoughts: of the people who are not able to receive Communion, who are lonely or lost, or who have no place to call home. I think of the people I encountered in Israel and Palestine, of their situations, and pray for peace. I think of the compassion I have been shown from people who literally have nothing, yet they baked me bread and fed me olives. And said "Thanks be to God" with nearly every other phrase. I think of how disconnected it feels to not be close to God. Or other people.

I look at the other people, and am happy they are there....

These are some of the thoughts...as I sit with the uncomfortableness in doing without. I admit, at first I was kinda ashamed of it, because I find it difficult to articulate "Why?" But it is MY A'hd. My promise. My position to keep, my cross to bear. It has it's place in my life, and I am grateful.

But I can't wait until Easter!

--Shannon

Work...Sleep...Repeat...

As my friend Naomi puts it: "it's just the same thing every day, same people, same food, same day" It's hard to keep track of the days or even months up here. There is no distinction between weekend and weekday. A 6-day workweek is mandatory for island workers, so why keep track? The only use for my calendar is to keep track of how many miles I've ran that week...

I'm in such a rut. And in such a bad mood!

Both are detestable for me, as I am used to moving, traveling, having some sort of freedom to spice things up a bit. But here, it's not so easy or even possible. It's an island. Eight miles around. That's it. There aren't so many social things to pursue, and even when there is one, I will be working. There are plenty of bars, but that avenue has long since lost it's luster for me.

Work...Sleep...Work...Jog... There has to be more to my life than that. And of course there is...an occasional movie night with the gals. An occasional great night out. But as the summer wears on and people leave...these occasions are becoming more and more rare.

I requested the afternoon off tomorrow to go to a poetry gathering. I'm so ready to expand my mind in a different direction! I want to garden, to write, to go camping, to settle down in Louisville. These are things my heart wants, and I cannot wait for them any longer.

Earning more money has become an empty reason to remain in this place, where I have no way to channel my energy for something good.

"Alcatraz" is what someone called this place the other day :-) Fitting in some regards.

You ever just know when it's time to move on? It's time.
Only I have one more task to do...
Run my race.

The Best Perspective...

Yesterday I got to "babysit/hangout" with Charlotte, a 7 year old girl who is staying with her parents here in the hotel. We have babysitting services for guests, and normally I do not make myself available for that! (had a not so fun experience with it on the island years ago...rich people sometimes have very very very bratty kids!)

But Charlotte was different. In an eccentric young-Drew Barrymore kinda way.

Upon check in, she had these fake tattoo stars all on her arms and even her forehead. She was shy, as I was a stranger. The next day, her dad said she wanted ME to babysit her. And so our 3 hour adventure involved walking to the playground...playing around on the swings....throwing rocks in the water (did that for about an hour, and looked for cool rocks)...getting ice cream...playing Old Maid.

It was actually one of the best nights I've spent on this island. I'm getting too run down with the other types of "fun" this place has to offer. And spending time with a 7 year old really warps your perspective of life...for the better! I got home and had my head and heart full of how she saw the world. It was the most interesting thing to reflect on...

Favorite Quotes from Charlotte:
~I name everyday...the first day was "Island explore day" yesterday was "horse back ride day" today is "babysit day" I've been looking forward to this ALL DAY.

~I wanted you to babysit me.
-Why me?
~I like your red hair. I think that it's neat.

~The waves are my ENEMY! (As we throw rocks in the water)

~You know what I think of war? (she said out of the blue...)
-what?
~I think they should stop it. Just don't fight.

~Rub the dirt on the rock like THIS see? It looks neat.

~ I like getting really dirty.

~ I bought one mouse toy and one rat toy. Look!
~ I named them Dratcula and Isabella. Cuz this one is black like a Dracula, and the other one is white like a girl.

~ I have a friend who blows her nose like this (hand covering nose and tissue in other hand)
~Isn't that WEIRD?!

-How do you whistle so good? (i can't whistle at all)
~It's easy. Like this....no put your tongue like this...
(i still can't whistle)

~ I'm saving my last 3 dollars to buy something special.
-What?
~A HUGE ALLIGATOR! Hahaha
(lots of giggles following and her dancing about...)

The 5 Year Plan...

I did not have a 5 year plan 5 years ago...it seemed totally irrelevant, as I was just trying to make it one day at a time. That's about all I could manage those days. Memories are distant.

But today holds many distinct memories. Five years ago today, my mother died.

Yet, it seems like a lifetime ago. In many ways it was another lifetime ago...

I was working here on Mack island; went home the day before she died; came back to the island to work. And here I am 5 years later. This year is different. This year I am free to act like the 23-year-old that did not get to stay out all night or make new friends. I just didn't have it in me at that time. I had real responsibilities: selling my childhood home; planning a funeral; paying lots of bills; finding time and figuring out how to grieve.

I think that's why the current 28-year-old me is having so much fun with these college aged kids. Somehow fulfilling that urge to be in and of the moment. Being very lighthearted, as before it was not something that came so easily. I can't even tell you who I worked with that year, as I did not get to know any of my coworkers. Even though I spent 6 months with those people! And so far only 3 with the current group, and I've had numerous fun times with them. Even just last night...

I often wonder how my sister and I managed. I could not have done it all without her. She, being the older sister (just a couple years older), carried more of the burden. I basically had no idea what I was doing.

And now, five years later, I still am not sure of what I am doing with my life. But I know who I am. I know where I've been, and am hopeful to where I am going. I never thought I would have a family again, but I've been blessed to have great siblings, and an awesome church family in Louisville. I've lived in other countries. I've travelled the world.

None of this was in my 5 year plan :-)

That's because I do not have one. But maybe I'll start...next year :-)

Chaos to Insanity

Thud...thud...thud....the sounds of people going up the stairs. "HAHAHA" chatter, chatter, the sounds coming from the circle porch. These are the sounds at work just before midnight, when I get to leave it all behind...

So, it's yacht races on Mackinac! (pics soon) The Port Huron to Mack is now, and next week is Chicago to Mack. Which will surely be insane as it is the 100th anniversary or something of that race.

Yacht races= chaos on the island. Everything is booked. These dirty loud drunken sailors come off their boats and look for more beer and even more trouble. But it's all good fun, for the most part. I love the craziness of it all, as I get very energized when things stray from the norm.

Here at the Front Desk we're supposed to watch out for sailors using the rooms for showers (they will book one room, and let their buddies shower in it, so it's like 7+ people using up all the hot water...) Tonight room 323 ordered loads of room service; room 206 complained about everything; room 314 had the door propped open with a case of beer...

Did I mention they are paying like around $400 bucks per night?

Anyhoo-- I've had my fill of partying lately. Lots of good times Thursday night at the Mustang, and Saturday night...let's just say my head hit the pillow at 4:17am. After some tequila, some dancing, some lying on the golf course with a group of friends, looking at the stars, etc. Nuff said :-)

Yacht races will always bring out the pirate in you.

Road Trip!

"You off tomorrow?"

That's how it all began. I was dead set on NOT going off island again for my day off, since I just went to Petoskey. But my coworkers Jake, Brittany, and Will spontaneously decided to go to Tequamaneon Falls. I had a late night/early morning (as did they...) and was just thinking how much I was NOT going at 9am when Jake texted me.

"Ok, I'm in"

And it was the best day. Totally laid back, chill, not too much conversation, lots of woods and nature around. First we went to Will's cabin, where he has horses (!), and one of the horses just gave birth to twins (!). Granted, we live on an island where horses are the main mode of transport, but the Island horses are different. Not so friendly, as they seem focused on their work. Seriously.

Next stop was the Falls, in the UP, near Canada. Last stop was Whitefish Point, a random place where we saw big barges on the lake.

It was one of the best road trips I've had because everyone was so relaxed. We even had a shopping stop in there, and a couple fast food breaks. Jake had some good tunes and drove the whole time. I slept in the car :-) I wish we could have gone camping...

I am trying to think of why it was so relaxed. I think because we didn't have any sort of agenda. I'm learning to go with the flow in life more, as I used to be a SUPER laid back person before life got hectic and too drama focused. Sometimes I guess you have to be reminded of who you were to accept who you are now. Good or bad. And currently, it's all good :-)

Real World Delirum...

Went to Petoskey today, a little town 45 minutes south of Mackinac City. I was running an errand for my boss, who needed some art pieces picked up from the framers for the upcoming Arts Festival on the island.

I've missed my Jeep, so I was glad to get away for part of the day. Got a tad annoyed at the $4.39 gas prices.

I know it's higher overseas, so I hate to grumble, but it's really more than I can afford these days, so I'm very glad to be living on a no-cars-allowed island...

On the ferry ride back, I overheard a family speaking Arabic (!). It's not uncommon to see people wearing head coverings on the island, but I've not heard too much Arabic. I wanted to hug them :-) It was so comforting. I chatted with them, and found out they are originally from Lebanon, and are now living in Deerborn, Michigan.

The island has worked it's magic on me yet again, as it is easy to get sucked into this vacuum, not realizing what is going on in the outside world. My workplace is full of young energetic people, providing a mixed melting pot of "drama". Too many to count have quit, or gotten fired, or left for various reasons. Too many get drunk EVERY night (not kidding). Too many are my friends.

I should learn better than to make friends with people that I KNOW are not going to stick around, as the current situation prevents such lasting relations to occur. Yet, we are all in this together. It's like summer camp, with money and potential trouble.

Too many times I've had to tell more about my life than I wanted to originally. Like, where I got my clothes (mostly from overseas, Thailand, Bali, Cyprus, Israel, etc), which leads to deeper sharing, which I really did not intend to share. I am still not sure if it's a good thing to open up or not, but when one spends so much time with a group of people, it's bound to happen. My tattoo has also been the point of conversation multiple times.

Strange how shy I am about it all. It's just too personal to me, far removed from who I am today, yet deeply ingrained into who I am now. I think I hesitate also because I miss certain aspects of the past so much. Being unaware of the harsh realities of the world, untouched from tragedy, carefree; I miss walking down the street in Thailand, eating mango and spicy sugar, or meat on a stick. I miss riding on motorcycles. I miss the dry heat of Jerusalem summer, and the rooftop meals with friends there. I miss seeing elephants in my Thai neighborhood, and donkeys in my Palestine neighborhood. I miss the smells of the market, even the stinky fish.

I miss it more knowing I may never see it again. Knowing those who I try to share my experiences with have no idea what life is like outside the United States...

So vivid, the memories are sometimes, so random the way I will suddenly think of a Thai or Arabic or Spanish phrase...my mouth begging to speak it aloud, yet I don't let it.

So I just sigh and light incense and say a prayer...and try to make sense of it all. And hope to never forget how blessed I am.

Chillin' in the sun

Today was a perfect example of a carefree summer day...sorta.

Being older, I am learning to rediscover how great doing nothing can be. After I attempted a long bike ride this morning (too many tourists and tandem bikes threatening me:-) and an attempt at a long hike (the mosquitoes have hatched and are abound in the woods) I ended up settling in for a good jog and went to the docks afterwards.

I don't have a beach towel. Actually I only own one towel.

So I've been using my extra sheet to lay on, and brought it to the docks, where I met with several friends. We don't arrange these meetings. They just happen. I can usually find people who are on their split shift, or day off. They are
1. laying out at the docks.
2. laying out in the park.
3. Having coffee near the docks.
4. Having beer in the park.

After laying out in my tacky Thailand shorts and sports bra (didn't take the time to change from my running gear) I was ready to jump in. My buddy Tony was debating to jump earlier, so after I was game, he was going, and Aubree joined in too.

Lake Huron is FREEZING.

I remember the free fall from the jump, then plunging down into the icy water, and stretching up for air. It was fantastic! How rejuvenating, and it was perfect to cool off so quickly. We just hung out on the docks, more people came, talking about life, books, travels, etc. Enjoying silences.

Ahhh....summer....

on the upside...

Woah. Talk about a guilty conscience. I went to bed late/early thinking about how I should not have douched on the USA so much the other day. So here's my top 10 list that I wrote while living overseas of stuff I missed about America:

1. Freedom. In the US, I am allowed to say what I want, do what I want (within reason) date when I want, go where I want. I'm not limited to places because of my race or because I am a woman. I can wear what I want. I am totally free of cultural hindrances that prohibit me to befriend a man or someone of a different race. It's not like that everywhere...

2. Fast food. Ok, so it's not the most healthy thing, but that depends on what you order. Besides, I've worked around fancy restaurants and I KNOW they slather soo much butter on stuff to make it taste good, so that's not exactly the best thing to eat either. All I know is, I have a big Arby's craving, and MacDonald's ice cream is awesome. As is Wendys. And DQ...sigh. (sadly even on Mackinac Island, fast food is not here...I'm still in with drawls)

3. Lots of choices. This is always overwhelming to return to the consumerism. But I love having lots of choices when it comes to where I will live, what I can eat (super grocery stores!!!), what I will wear... I think too much choice is not so good, and it takes much personal restraint to NOT buy things you don't need. Which is why I am glad I've always been cheap as hell; it keeps me from overspending, weather or not I have the money.

4. Artists. I mean music, paintings, photography...etc. The US has alot to offer, and most museums are free, or not so expensive. Love that. Wish there were more art museums in the world.

5. Democracy. I think our system is great--for us, that is. I do not agree with thrusting democracy on the rest of the world, because it is not what is best for them. But it works for us, well when it's utilized fairly.

6. Individualism. By this I mean the way people in the US express themselves. It is not always accepted openly, which is frustrating, but we are free to be who we are, or while we try to figure out who that is...We can keep our last name when we marry, and we are finally starting to be fair on allowing people to marry the person they love, that marriage isn't for heterosexual people only.

7. Pretty landscapes...we have a big country compared to other places.

8-10...will have to think more on it...

So fast...

Finally. Today felt like summer. It was steamy even in the shade. I'm loving it.

Summer sneaked up on me, as did my recent birthday, and so many other things, that a recap is impossible. But I have some random thoughts, and wanted to keep up the habit of keeping up with writing in this space...

I'm up to running 7.5 miles now, fairly comfortably. I'm saving the last half-mile for later. I'm still at a 10-min.-mile, and would like to chip away at that time before I add more distance. But knowing that I definitely could run the 8-mile path around the island is a huge mental boost to accomplish my goals. I'm amazed at what the body can do.

I will have to breeze through older posts to see when I started running, but I think it was just the beginning of this month! And I was hurting after 2 miles! That's awesome gain on distance, despite a knee that would give me problems, the occasional cigarette (rare, but yes, at times) and late night/early morning parties.

I feel gross the day after drinking, (rare, but yes, at times) so running it out feels very cleansing. And reminds me of college (the first time I ever drank, and had rowing practice at 6am in the morning!) when coach would just laugh at me and shout "SWEAT IT OUT O'DONNELL". It really does work. But it hurts like hell.

How is it possible to run that much? I have no idea. I didn't think I could do it at all, so now I'm stuck with running faster, which I love to do. I like to sprint the last 1/2 mile, it is such a rush. I'm in the zone, and my legs feel like I can't stop going. And when I do stop, they feel like jell-o.

Shift of topic: Today during dinner one of the guys commented on the rudeness of French people, then the conversation shifted to how foreigners complain about the USA too much because we're "better than them." Ok, I could no longer let this slide, so I piped up about the lack of our health care system, our not so good (to put it nicely) president, and a few other points as to why the rest of the world may not "like the USA."

Poor kid was kinda quiet after that. I feel bad for not being able to articulate more on the topic, and frustrated that ignorance is still abound. I basically left the conversation by saying "others probably have a problem with our ATTITUDE the most..."

I mean, what does our country have to OFFER the world, really? Sleazy Hollywood stories, lots of obese people, marital affairs and divorce? We're really good at all of those. No wonder the dollar is crap right now, what are we selling that the world at large needs? Oil? Food?

I have limited knowledge of these matters, and should not even mention them. But I have lived abroad, in places where the USA is loved and hated. Passionately hated.

And I totally understand why.

God's Promise...

I took this picture today from my crappy little camera phone. It hardly begins to capture the beauty of the rainbow. It was the most amazing one I've ever seen, arching all the way over to the other side of the island...

I really needed a rainbow today.

My Aunt died. So the real grieving begins...Not wanting to elaborate on that here...

And I got hit by a tandem bike today. What crappy luck?! By the way, a tandem bike is freaking heavy, a bike built for two. I was jogging along, trying to clear my mind and forget about death, and next thing I know, I feel a piercing jolt in my back, pavement, pain, blood.

Two gals, preteens really, were not watching where they were going. I was running on the edge of the pavement, clearly away from bike traffic, in bright red shorts, so obviously people would have seen me if they were riding with their eyes straight ahead. The parents stopped, checked to see if I was ok, lectured the girls, and they went on their merry way. I admit. I was pissed for the next 1/2 mile I had to limp and get my white socks all bloody stained :-(

Then I said, well, it could have been worse. I haven't fallen in a long time, or gotten scraped and bruised, so it was kinda like being a kid again. And as a kid, I just kept on doing what I was originally doing, and hope for a "cool scar" later on. So I pumped up my iPod (that thankfully did not break when I fell) and ran the last few miles because I'm tough like that. :-)

But, man, my leg is on fire! Nothing like pantyhose on raw skin. (I have to dress up for work--conservatively--blah)

Work was crazy busy today too. And in the midst of the chaos, this beautiful rainbow appeared! It was the best thing that's happened to me all day. The only good thing really. And it's just enough to bring a smile. To make me grateful for the crappy day. To remember God's promises...

Summer has arrived!

As I wait for some friends to get off work, I am amazed at how quickly summer has finally arrived here on the island. Today was the best day I've had in such a long time, I can't help but have a goofy smile on my face...

Best day re-cap:
1. Get up around 10am to watch the runners go by (The Lilac Festival started Friday, and today was the annual 10k race around the island) as I sip my morning coffee.
2. Like a kid on summer break, I throw on my grubby clothes and running shoes and iPod, and head out the door for a long run in the woods (to avoid any racers or other humans for that matter...)
3. End run at the Iroquois, and grab lunch in the EDR (Employee Dining Room) My coworker asked me why I destroy the blueberry muffins they typically have left over from the restaurant's breakfast...Well, to get the blueberries out, of course.
4. Go home to change into swimsuit to sneak into the Murray Hotel's rooftop pool/whirlpool :-)
5. Meet up with friends in the park to lay out and play Frisbee
6. Ride my bike around the island...and accidentally inhale a few bugs (yuck.)
7. End bike ride at the Iroquois (see a pattern here) to have dinner.
8. Go home to shower and change for evening Mass. (very enjoyable, as I have not been to church in months)
9. Walk my boss's dogs.
10. Ride my bike up the hill to hang out until the restaurant closes, and people get off work...

So, that is the rundown on what a perfect summer day is for me.

You ever have that Zen feeling, of total relaxation and at peace with everyone and everything? That's me right now. Nothing can bother me today. The day has been so perfect, except...

I know too much.

I know that there are others in the world who do not get to experience this sort of peace, or carefree summer days. I can't help but wonder what I would be doing in Jerusalem on a day like today? Probably frying in the soaringly hot temps. Or going to Jericho with friends. Or to a protest somewhere. I think of my friends and acquaintances there, and pray for them often.

I will always know what time it is in Jerusalem.

Changes, Changes...

Many changes in the past month, and many more to follow.

Oh, but first an auntie update: no news is good news. I haven't heard much from my sister, but last word I got was that our aunt is still not doing good, but hasn't gotten worse. I pray she begins to improve and at least get out of ICU.

Other stuff: It's June!!! I decided to skip the cheap gym fee this month and invest in a cheap pair of sneakers. The island is full of joggers, and I became jealous. So I have a new goal: to run the entire 8 mile path that circles the island. I have a love/hate relationship with running (just like the commercial says). But now that I'm eating better, it's great to go for a jog, because I don't tire out so easily. Yesterday I ran 5 miles, and would have kept going, but my knee started acting up. I told myself that I would get serious about running only if I promised to listen to my body. Any moderate pain will be attended to. I typically would ignore that stuff, and it just leads to an injury, putting me off running for awhile, prohibiting me from reaching my goal.

My previous bulk-up goal has been successful enough for me. My arms and legs are bigger and much stronger, and I feel great about that! Had to get rid of several outfits though, but so far I can keep most of my "travels" clothes, the stuff I have accumulated from various countries I've visited in the past. That stuff's harder to part with, but I don't mind putting it in the church clothes drive bin.

I'd rather have reached my fitness goals than have a bunch of skinny girly clothes.

Other changes: Well, my job was fine for awhile, sucky for awhile, bad for awhile, good for a bit. I have 2 jobs: personnel assistant and front desk night supervisor. I have learned that I work well with people better than numbers. I'm good at languages, problem solving, casual conversation (get that from my dad--he could charm ANYONE with conversation), and training people. But the aspects of my job that entails working with huge spreadsheets and numbers all day by myself in the basement office: sucks.

And I suck at it.

So instead of quitting (which crossed my mind more than once during this last payroll hell) I decided to have one of those "tricky" conversations with my boss. She responded well, and we are working out a new position for me, which involves more work on the front desk, with guests and the other employees. Nice. Yay! Fingers crossed that it goes fine, which I 'm sure it will. It will certainly make for a less stressful work day.

Last piece of change: I get TWO days off this week! Insane! But the hotel is too quiet this week. The weather is cold (60's) and rainy, and nearly empty, so the staff get two days off! That's rare for here. What in the world will I do with myself? :-)

Life & Death

It's de-ja-vu lately. My sister calling me with "Auntie Updates". Me lunging for the phone when it rings, and dreading bad news...

My Aunt Donna was admitted to the hospital a few days ago. It always starts small...a fall earlier this week, bronchitis turned pneumonia, kidneys already not so good just quit altogether...and so on. Only when she fell she hit her head. They didn't think much of it at the time, but a brain scan yesterday showed bleeding and swelling of her brain. Not good.

So she's had brain surgery, dialysis, and a whole host of meds. The doctors do not sound hopeful, nor do my sister's auntie updates.

Honestly, I don't think she will make it.

If someone were to ask me if I am close to my aunt, I'd say...sort of. She's just always been there growing up, and even now. She sends Christmas and birthday gifts. She emailed me when I was overseas. She's a nice person who has great taste in jewelry and is loving and kind. Why is it you really don't analyze your relationship to a family member until it is in jeopardy?

Surprise! Night Audit...

You ever get called into work.
On a national holiday.

Yep, that's me. Got the call this morning NOT to come into work during the day, but to come in later so I can work till midnight to run the night audit for the hotel. I don't mind. It's quiet in general between 11pm-2am. I'll be home, on my way to dreamland by 2am, but that's when the bars close, so there's more activity afterwards, that I thankfully won't have to witness :-)

Given the unexpected daytime hours all to myself, I decided to go for a hike. It ended up a 3 hour adventure, with many stops along the way to visit horses in their stalls. I took some pictures (will share soon), but the day was very foggy. If I weren't in such a "iffy" mood, it would perhaps spook me a bit to be deep in the woods on such a day.

The woods here are haunted. Seriously. There are many ghost stories written about various sites on the island, of Civil War battles, or Indian graveyards. My coworkers often go "ghost hunting" at night, and have captured some rather convincing images via camera.

But I'll not need to be convinced. I wouldn't confess to believing in ghosts, but I definitely have always felt a spirit's presence at places on this island. I wish I could say I felt such a supernatural essence at places I went to in Jerusalem, but I did not. Jerusalem had alot of concreteness to it, or perhaps too much human manipulation to the various sites. But here...it's just...different.

Today, with the heavy fog, I could swear I felt someone right behind me on the path, or just beyond the trees. I felt slightly embarrassed when I did my usual dancing and singing and various things "grownups" are not supposed to be doing. That's why I like to hike solo often. The world becomes a sad place when I feel like I'm not "allowed" to skip anymore. You know what I mean. You hesitate to do such a spontaneous burst of action because you "know better" because "people are watching" (who is watching? why do we care??). Yet, when I'm alone in the woods I can twirl or skip or hoot or throw stuff, and nobody is there to take note.

You would be surprised how much better you feel after doing such things.
I certainly felt better, and uplifted from my original "iffy" mood.
Perhaps the spirits were making fun of me. I'm OK with that :-)

Mystery flu bug.

It was bound to happen. When you live with the SAME people, work with them, party with them, eat with them, you are bound to be sick with them. The sucky part of community living.

So, here amongst the Iroquois staff, there has been a 2 day-killer-stomach-re-arranging flu bug floating around. I had the unfortunate encounter with it Sunday night. I felt fine during the day...a little tired, but I thought it was from working out too hard.

But by 8pm, something was definitely not right. The other night manager suggested I rest for a bit in a vacant room until it was time to do the midnight audit. Alas, the only time I have been privileged to rest in one of our "basic" 300.00 dollar a night rooms, I spent it in the bathroom!

And my boss has deemed my sick day as my golden day off day. Bummer. I did not want to spend my one day a week off resting with the flu! But these things happen. How? I don't know.
Over half of the staff have had the "it." And this place is spotless! I can't figure it out...I'd been hand-sanitizing like crazy, all for nothing? Oh well.

It gave me perspective: health is golden, not my golden day off. Staring at the white walls for a whole day with the flu gives one great insight to what is worth stressing about. At first I was concerned with not finishing my work, missing work, making less money, causing someone to cover my shift, etc. Then thoughts of the beautiful day outside that I was missing out on made me upset. But hearing the horses clip-clop in and out of my drifting sleep made it all seem trivial.

It will all be fine when I am well.

And so I am better. And all is fine.

Life stuff...

First, I should share a pic I took today with my cheap-o camera phone:

It's May, and the tulips are beginning to show off their colors! I went biking around the island today, as it was nice and sunny out. But chilly still!

I have been reading and thinking and having fun alot lately. The readings: War and Peace; books by Jeanette Winterson; a couple of books my boss gave me; The Golden Notebook...

You'd think I'd be satisfied with just War and Peace! It's thicker than the freaggin Bible.

The thinking's: I've been thinking about Palestine alot. I have been dreaming about it too. Not good dreams either...more like ones that I wake up from and feel an intense amount of guilt. I dreamed last night that I went back to surprise everyone during the Wednesday night volleyball games...and ended up apologizing profusely for leaving. It feels awful to wake up from such a dream. I don't know what is worse, the stress of living there or the guilt of not living there...

The fun: Luckily, the days at work are productive and I enjoy my job. I'm meeting and hanging out with laid back people, so that helps counter act the "thinking's" and dreams. I played some drinking games the other night, not something I do often, but it was very fun at the time. I have not had straight vodka in a while! And I don't plan on having it for a while!

Did you know you can get a BUI "Biking Under the Influence" ticket here? Yep, you definitely can!

Day Off!

Tomorrow is my day off!

Everyone on the island works 6 days a week, and after my 2p-midnight shifts, I'm ready to be off. And tomorrow is my golden day...

Golden :-) It's supposed to get up to 60 degrees! I may go horseback riding. Or just hang out with people. Or go out after midnight tonight with coworkers as they visit some haunted sites on the island again...

Yeah, loads to do here (kidding) It's an island. There's only so much to do. One day off is enough.

ps--my gym habit is in full swing, and already my arms are buffing up! saweeeet! I *heart* weightlifting :-) I love it.

gotta go...sneeking internet while on the clock is a big no-no for me...

Mother's Day...

So, it's mother's day today...and I hardly felt sad at all.

That's strange. But I was reminded of the last Mother's Day I got to spend with my mom in 2003. It was the day before I flew up here to work on Mack Island for the first time. Although my boss wanted me here weeks earlier, I am now SO glad I stuck to my gut to spend Mother's Day with mom...

Wow. That seems like forever ago.

At times I am reminded of her presence still in my life, even though she is dead.

It's the little things...the phone booths here on the island that I used to use to call her once a week. The little souvenirs I bought and mailed to her...a little bar of lavender soap...some fudge.

I remember the fear I felt every time I called her...because I was afraid she would not remember me. The cancer had begun to spread to her brain, so sometimes she was not quite with it. But she always remembered me! :-) I am so grateful for that. And even more grateful for our last conversation (i used the phone near the docks...) when she made me answer questions for some survey I got in the mail from my university. I thought it was a stupid waste of time, and didn't want to spend the last conversation with my mom doing such a task! But she sternly reminded me that she was my MOTHER, and we WERE DOING THE SURVEY, and I followed her lead.

When I flew back home, just before she died, I found that survey, filled out with her shaky handwriting. It made me proud and sad. But ever so grateful for my mother and the direction she gave me in life.

So much has changed for me since that time.

But I still carry the lessons learned. And I still hate filling out stupid surveys :-)

Happy Mother's Day!

Wedding Bells

Today my boss's only daughter got married. They held the ceremony on the patio of the hotel, right next to the lake, absolutely beautiful day. Things were strangely calm last night in the hotel, considering it was opening day! Mostly we are booked up with wedding guests, so other than a screaming 2 year old (flower gal), things were quiet.

I had to heat up the little girl's sippy cup with milk more times than I can calmly say...

Just one of the job perks, I guess.

I am helping train the newbies, while learning to do the audit, and keep on top of the payables. It's not so stressful, but I try not to think of my long to do list. I do love paying other people's bills, a strange satisfaction I gain from that. I think it's because it's a tangible task, and once it's done, it's done...until the next bill, that is. Besides, I'm not spending MY money in the process :-)

I always learn alot about how to run a hotel whenever I have worked here. Maybe I will make this my career and run my own B&B one day...

Yesterday I heard the cannon go off from the fort on the bluff. (they do re-enactments for tourists, and just shoot off the cannon, not loaded of course) It reminded me of Palestine. I am often reminded of Jerusalem, but it seems so odd...to think tomorrow is Pentecost. I have seen the "upper room" the places in Jerusalem where such events have taken place. But I have yet to know where to place them in my own life, my own mind.

They do not haunt me here. Nothing bothers me here. I am fulfilled.

Meet Breezy

I have seen her around. But clearly she was way out of my league.

sigh.

I could admire from afar...

But this year was going to be different. She was to be mine :-)

Meet "Breezy" my love. :-)

The only bike for me :-)

Necessito platos?

I have internet!!! Until the power goes out for the 6th time today.

So here's a quick run-down of life thus far:
1. I checked in 5 new employees
2. Two of them are from Chile
3. Thank God I still remember some Espanol!
4. My boss needs some sort of anti-anxiety meds...pronto. Seriously.
5. I'm betting that 2 of the 5 will be fired in less than a month.
6. My other boss (i have 2 since I'm in 2 positions) is off the island, so I'm walking her 2 dogs (2 many 2's in this sentence)
7. Yay dinner.

El translation:

So these new employees...most of them in their early 20's (as in still-sucking-up-mommy/daddys-money-green-around-the-gills-of reality, EARLY 20s) Was fun to give the "tour" of the hotel and info they will need to survive life on the island. One guy wants to be a magician, and it will be magic if he remembers what time to show up to work tomorrow. We'll see if he lasts for long.

One chick was wearing a sun hat. Go figure, since it was snowing yesterday. Odd behavior from that one.

Two employees from Chile were really down to earth and sweet. Amazingly some spanish was able to come out of seemingly nowhere, through my mouth, and into their ears with out them looking at me like I was from another planet. I think they understood me. I did understand what they were saying. "Necessito platos?" Yes, they did need plates for their apartment. :-) Yay Los Angeles spanish class!

I love my job. It's sooo busy, and lots of interaction with people. People from Chile, US, Jamaica, Argentina, Mexico, etc. But my boss #1 today was driving me crazy. I'm her assistant. Basically i run around fixing what she broke and vice versa. It's a nice match. But today she was driving me insane. I wanted to tell her to take another smoke break, or whatever she had to do to get it together. I mean, could she lose anymore paperwork that I was supposed to be processing?! And since it's "lost" of course it's the assistant's fault. Riiight.

She also cusses like a sailor. Gotta love that. :-) Lots of new sailor words in my head today. I didn't know a computer could be the spawn of satan's asshole. But that's what hers was today.

Boss #2 is out of town. I offered to dog sit. A task I enjoy.

Dinner is now being served! So glad for that because I'm nearly out of pretzels, and I am beginning to think Coolwhip and Tootsie rolls are not the best dinner for such busy work days. The best thing about working/living here is that for $375 bucks a month, I live in a sweet loft apartment, and all my meals (eventually) will be included. And the meals are prepared by Sous Chefs.

It's the only place in the world that I eat like a queen, and never consider the consequences :-) Because from all the biking/hiking/walking/working, you'd have to make an effort to gain weight here. Only possible if you drink too much beer :-) That's been known to happen.

Library Day

The barge blasts it's horn as it crosses the straits. I'm sitting in the cutest library I've ever known. I wanted to post pictures, but my computer won't recognize that my camera actually has pictures on it! So that will have to wait until later.

It's my first day off. Since I'll be working this weekend, my boss decided that it would be bad to incur too much overtime before the hotel opens in two weeks. It's such a chilly rainy day, that I'm glad to be off while the library is open. The back doors overlook a small porch with rocking chairs that people enjoy sitting in when the weather is nice. But for today, it's just me and the librarian and another island worker who is passed out in the comfy chairs by the fireplace :-)

I woke up this morning to the sound of my automatic coffee pot. That is the perfect alarm clock for me! It will take much restraint NOT to steal that coffee pot when I leave. I think I'll ask my boss if she can take the cost of it out of my bonus at the end of the season. I'm already attached to it.

I wore a big coat today, as it's not feeling like spring just yet. The island welcomes spring in slowly. It's like Sleeping Beauty every year...coming out of the foggy winter slumber to wake up to the green of spring. In a few weeks it will warm up enough to sit outside. But June is the best, because that is when I will help the gardeners (mostly from Latin America) plant loads of seedlings around the hotel. I have many fond memories of the first of June planting season.

The month of May is training time. Currently I have been working on processing all the paperwork for new employees. Wondering what kind of season it will be? Who will get fired first? Who will quit? It's hard work up here, and many college kids just coming for a good time forget that the next day when they have to go to work. My employers do not tolerate repeated lateness or hangovers. With the fine dining restaurant and the hotel rooms at $300-900 dollars a night, they can't afford bad service! It was hard my first season to tolerate their perfectionist standards, but once I "passed" I got into the swing of things. I love the long busy hours! I hope to make enough money to take the month of November off to work on a little house in Kentucky that I shall purchase.

But for now, I have the island...I was thinking today that this is the first time in 2 years that I've felt safe. Totally safe. I cannot describe the peacefulness of this feeling. The completeness it brings to my soul. What was I so upset about last week, last year? I do not remember. I occasionally have a flashback of soldiers and guns and checkpoints...but then I look out the window and see the crystal blue waters wash the thought away. If I could create a heaven for myself, it would be an island like this. And me a happy little clam on the shoreline...

A Ghosttown in the works.

I arrived on the island a couple of days ago. The familiar ferry bobbing up and down on the icy waters of the straits. The Round Island lighthouse giving me that feeling of being pulled into a different time zone.

I am surprised at how shabby the island is! The streets are so empty and void of the hustle and bustle of the summer. But that won't last for long, as people are sawing, hammering, painting their way to the grand opening season...sometime around the first week of May.

I also did not hear from my employer that our meals are not provided until the opening. :-( So peanut butter and pretzels will have to do for now. It's not a bad dinner, when mixed with a good Canadian beer to wash down the stickiness :-)

It's kinda lonely here now, but in a good way. I'm nested up in my little studio room in Webster cottage. Originally my employer said I would be up in the apartments with the other staff (even though I'm "management") but she gave me a great surprise and I got my old room in Webster! I will post pictures soon, but that means I'll not be bothered (unless I choose to take part) in the late night drunken festivities that tend to frequent the apartments up the hill from town.

I'm glad to be here. It's chilly. There is still patches of snow up in the woods. I don't have to dress up for work (yet).

Moving to Michigan...again

Well, this is something I'd never thought I'd be doing again: Moving back to Mackinac.

But it's time for me to settle down. I'd love to settle down in a place with the beauty Mackinac provides, but let's be honest, I shiver when the temps are in the 60's...a Mackinac winter? No way.

The summers up there are the best: low humidity, not so hot you think you will suffocate, bike everywhere, horses everywhere, bars everywhere, fun times always. This is what I remember from the past 3 summers I worked there, off and on. This shall be my last working summer. I know I have said that before, but this time I mean it. Unfortunately.

I want to quit the nomad life for awhile. Mackinac was one of my first ventures into the unknown (more on that later). I just packed a couple of suitcases and took off for half the year. It was a very difficult year, back in 2003, but being on the island made it so much better. The nature trails, the perfect gardens...what more could I ask for?

Basically, this island is my Holy Land. I've come to be familiar with what others refer to as the "Holy Land" and I know that is not the place where my soul connects to God. Jerusalem is an awesome city, full of traditions and history. It is now apart of my history, but not a place where my spirit was nourished. If anything, my soul is crying out for something beautiful, something without war or guns, without oppression, at peace.

And the only place that connects to me like that is Mackinac. So I shall enjoy my summer there, post a thing or two about the island culture for the next 6 months, let my mind unwind from the past year and a half, and go wild one last time :-)

Wa-hoo!
Shannon