The 5 Year Plan...

I did not have a 5 year plan 5 years ago...it seemed totally irrelevant, as I was just trying to make it one day at a time. That's about all I could manage those days. Memories are distant.

But today holds many distinct memories. Five years ago today, my mother died.

Yet, it seems like a lifetime ago. In many ways it was another lifetime ago...

I was working here on Mack island; went home the day before she died; came back to the island to work. And here I am 5 years later. This year is different. This year I am free to act like the 23-year-old that did not get to stay out all night or make new friends. I just didn't have it in me at that time. I had real responsibilities: selling my childhood home; planning a funeral; paying lots of bills; finding time and figuring out how to grieve.

I think that's why the current 28-year-old me is having so much fun with these college aged kids. Somehow fulfilling that urge to be in and of the moment. Being very lighthearted, as before it was not something that came so easily. I can't even tell you who I worked with that year, as I did not get to know any of my coworkers. Even though I spent 6 months with those people! And so far only 3 with the current group, and I've had numerous fun times with them. Even just last night...

I often wonder how my sister and I managed. I could not have done it all without her. She, being the older sister (just a couple years older), carried more of the burden. I basically had no idea what I was doing.

And now, five years later, I still am not sure of what I am doing with my life. But I know who I am. I know where I've been, and am hopeful to where I am going. I never thought I would have a family again, but I've been blessed to have great siblings, and an awesome church family in Louisville. I've lived in other countries. I've travelled the world.

None of this was in my 5 year plan :-)

That's because I do not have one. But maybe I'll start...next year :-)